Marriage is typically the strongest and most long-lasting partnership in our society. However, many relationships suffer from high divorce rates and low reconciliation rates. When a marriage ends, parents are left with more child-related expenses as well as time, energy, and resources that could have been put toward their children if the couple had remained together. Family support workers often face two challenges when assisting clients through divorce: first, finding clients who are willing to settle their divorce outside of court; and second, finding clients who are willing to settle their divorce at all. Both of these obstacles can be overcome by using divorce mediation as part of your service package.

How divorce mediation works

Mediation involves you and your soon-to-be-ex partner sitting down together with a trained mediator who has experience resolving family disputes. You both will be asked a series of questions designed to help you understand each other's viewpoint. You will also be encouraged to talk about your children and their needs as well as what you would like to see happen in the future. Mediation is NOT a negotiation process. You do not go into mediation asking your partner to "give you what you want" or to "meet your demands." Mediation is a communication process that helps you understand what your partner wants and needs while also helping you understand your own needs. Once you understand what is important to your partner, you have a much better chance of coming up with a settlement that both of you will be happy with.

Mediation advantages over divorce litigation

Mediation is a collaborative process that can lead to a quicker and less expensive settlement than litigation. The savings come from avoiding court costs, including attorney fees. If you use mediation, you will also avoid the stress and uncertainty that often accompanies litigation, including the risk of a long and expensive trial. If you use mediation, you can also get parenting time and child support more quickly than if you use litigation.

Benefit: A quick divorce settlement

Mediation can help you reach a settlement quickly. If you use litigation, a trial may take months to conclude. If you use mediation, you may be able to conclude your divorce within a few months. However, mediation is not always faster than litigation. Settlement discussions in mediation can take longer than in litigation if one party resists settlement or if you need to review new evidence. In general, mediation is quicker than litigation.

Benefit: Avoids stress and uncertainty

Stress and uncertainty can be the result of either divorce or mediation. However, mediation can significantly reduce the amount of stress and uncertainty you experience. You may have hoped that your divorce would be quick and easy, but divorce can take a long time and be extremely stressful. If you use mediation, you may experience some uncertainty as you wait for the divorce to be finalized. However, you will also have a chance to discuss your divorce issues in a controlled environment before the divorce is finalized. Mediation can also reduce the amount of financial uncertainty you experience. Divorce mediation allows you to resolve issues related to finances, property, and debt. If you use litigation, you will have to wait until the court rules on issues related to finances, property, and debt. You may also have to hire a lawyer who specializes in these issues.

Benefit: Avoids the risk of litigation

If you use litigation, you may end up in court. However, you may be able to avoid court if you settle your divorce outside of court. Settlement discussions in mediation can lead to a negotiated settlement that is approved by the court. If you use litigation, you may face a trial. You may also need to hire an attorney who may charge a significant amount of money. You may also have to wait for a court date. If you use mediation, you may be able to settle your divorce quickly without having to hire an attorney or go to court. You can also discuss your divorce issues privately and away from your soon-to-be-ex partner.

Drawback: Settlement cannot be enforced by the court

If you use mediation to settle your divorce, you may be able to avoid the stress and uncertainty of divorce litigation. However, a settlement you reach in mediation will not be enforceable by a court. If you and your partner cannot agree on an acceptable divorce settlement, you will have to use litigation to settle your divorce. You will also have to use litigation to enforce your settlement if your partner does not comply with it. If you use mediation, you can use it to try to keep the process private. You may even choose to close the door and speak to the mediator in a room by yourself. If you use mediation, you may not be able to have your divorce resolved quickly. You may want your divorce to be resolved as quickly as possible. However, you may be able to keep the divorce settlement private.

Drawback: Divorce settlement may not be as favorable as litigation

Mediation is not always as favorable for children as litigation. Settlement discussions in mediation may not include as much time with children as litigation. You may be able to negotiate a settlement that includes more time with your children if you use litigation. If you use mediation, you may be able to negotiate a settlement that includes more time with your children without going to court. However, you may not be able to negotiate a settlement that includes as much time with your children as you would if you used litigation.

Drawback: May not be as quick as you hoped

Mediation is not always as quick as you hoped. Settlement discussions in mediation may take longer than you hope. If you use mediation, you may also need to wait for mediation to conclude before you finalize your divorce. If you use litigation, you may be able to resolve your divorce issues quickly. However, you will also have to face the stress of divorce proceedings. Mediation is not always the best choice for every family. You should consider whether divorce mediation is right for you.